Couch Potato Report

The hubs doesn’t watch LA Ink, but I’ve been a devoted fan since the beginning. I used to watch Miami Ink, and loved the addition of Kat Von D to the cast. When I learned she’d be getting a spin-off, I was gleeful and followed her over to her own show.

The first season started off bumpy, as new shows are wont to do. It hit its stride mid-season, though, and I grew to really appreciate the team as it developed — Kat Von D, Corey Miller, Kim Saigh and Hannah Aitchison. I was especially invested in Kim and Hannah, because they’re both Chicagoans, not to mention kick-ass tattooers.

Fast-forward to the current season. I was not spoiled prior to the first ep, so I had no idea going in that Kim and Hannah were no longer with LA Ink.  Kim’s departure was not explained, but Hannah supposedly missed her daughter too much and decided to return to Chicago.

So, major bummer #1: Kim and Hannah are gone.

Kat’s stressed, because the shop is short-handed, so a few guest tattooers float in and out, one of which is Dan. Dan is cool. Dan is in a band. Dan is from New Zealand and has rockin’ tattoos. I like Dan.

Another guest tattooer is Nikko. Nikko is also cool, and rocks color like no one else. His tattoos are literally pieces of art. I like Nikko.

Kat’s still stressed because she needs help running the shop. So, while she’s in New York, her brother takes it upon himself to hire a new shop manager.

Major bummer #2: The hiring of Aubry Fisher.

I don’t like to insult people, but this needs to be said: Aubry is stupid. And I love Kat Von D (she’s one of the reasons I now have a tattoo, because she just makes them look so unbelievably cool), but I lost respect for her the minute she decided to keep Aubry on in the shop.

Aubry has never managed a tattoo shop before. Aubry doesn’t know how to work hard. Aubry doesn’t take anything seriously. Aubry is an awful addition to the cast of LA Ink this year, and her presence has made the show nearly unwatchable.

Despite numerous screw ups, Aubry has not been fired. I am convinced that the producers are behind this, and I back that conviction with Kat’s constant assertions that she wants nothing but the best work in her shop and she expects excellence out of her people. I think if it were up to Kat, Aubry would have been fired in the second episode.

Major bummer #3: Kat has lost control of her shop.

And that’s really, really sad.

Major bummer #4: Amy, Paulie and the weirdo running the other tattoo shop that is being featured each week.

I understand the title of the show is LA Ink, which means it could logically feature more than one tattoo shop in LA, but where did they find this guy? Where did they find this shop? It looks like a hole in the wall.

My hope is that they’re looking to spin off this other shop into it’s own show. If that’s true, then great — let High Voltage be the featured shop again, and let’s get back to what made LA Ink such a great show — the High Voltage tattooers and the people they tattoo.

It used to be that I would tear up at least once per episode because the stories told by the clients were so moving. This season, there are fewer clients being featured in favor of all the ridiculous Aubry-Amy-Paulie drama, which is wearing my patience thin. I DVR every episode, and it’s gotten to the point that I will fast-forward through any parts featuring this nonsense. Lately it feels like I’m only watching about 15 minutes of quality content.

Major bummer #5: The season ends tonight, before it could actually get good.

This is the first season I’ve watched that has been a disappointment from start to finish. I feel bad for Kat — you can almost tell that her heart isn’t in it, either. I hope she can regain some control of her shop before the next season — I don’t want another cringe-inducing batch of episodes that makes me want to throw things at my TV.

Speaking of that, I’m hoping tonight is the last time I will be forced to lay eyes on Aubry, who looks to me like the tree sloth character from the Ice Age movies if you added about a pound of makeup and a blond wig. The commercials I’ve seen show her having some kind of showdown with Corey (you go, Miller!), and the episode guide alludes to some kind of “difficult decision” for Kat.

It’s not difficult. Fire her, Kat! You were considering firing Pixie for much less crap than Aubry’s! And if it’s not up to you — if it’s up to the producers, then here is my message to them: Aubry Fisher is ruining the show. She is making it unwatchable. PLEASE get rid of her. Kick her back over to the Rock of Love Bus or whatever skanky reality show rock she crawled out from under.

I used to love LA Ink, but right now — it’s a sad, faded-out image of its former self. Put it back into the capable hands of Kat Von D and her talented artists and let them give it the color touch-up it so desperately needs.